Jen was a 20-year-old college student and working part-time when she learned that she was five months pregnant. “I felt such angst and stress. I was going to school and I could see my life unfold, having a kid and struggling. I wanted to be able to give my child everything.” Jen and the father of her child, Mark, talked about how they would handle their situation and he suggested they consider adoption. “I figured a family that wanted to adopt a baby would treat it well.” The couple had a mutual friend who had placed a child for adoption 13 years earlier and was an adoptee herself. “She gave us perspective. She explained how difficult her decision was and the grief she felt not having an open relationship with her child's adoptive family,” says Mark.

“When I spoke to our social worker, I remember being happy when she said there would be no pressure: 'If you want to keep your baby, fine. If you want to place your baby for adoption, that's fine too.' ”

Jen and Mark's son is of Irish- and Puerto Rican-descent, so they “wanted parents who looked like we might look in 10 years. We didn't want couples who specified the race of the baby, didn't want a single parent, didn't want a couple that already had a kid, or a non-animal lover. We wanted a Christian couple who would celebrate Christmas, which is also my birthday,” comments Jen.

As Jen and Mark continued looking through the profiles and family albums, one particular couple stood out. “We loved their book which was in both Spanish and English. The wife is Puerto Rican and the husband is Italian. Thirty minutes into our first meeting with them, we bonded. Both our social worker and theirs were shocked at how well we got along. We included them in every part of the process, even the naming,” remembers Jen.

“We see each other every two to three months. We also e-mail and send photos. Our child's adoptive parents feel like good neighbors. They have invited us to help talk to their son about his adoption story,” share Jen and Mark.