“My life was a total mess. I got pregnant by a guy who's not somebody who I would choose to be the father of my children. I was separated from my husband, in danger of losing my house, and was having a hard time taking care of my little ones. My life was a mess, so right away I thought 'I can't do this. I can't have a baby.' So to follow that, I thought about getting an abortion. But then after a couple of days of thinking about it, I realized I couldn't do that either. I couldn't take care of a baby and I couldn't have an abortion. So I said, 'You know what? There's another option. I know people do it.' ”

“I was about eight weeks pregnant when I made the decision. I jumped on the internet and started looking up stuff about adoption and reading letters from prospective adoptive parents to birth mothers. First I found an agency out in California. I submitted a form and they contacted me saying, “Well, we can't help you because apparently your child is biracial.” (I'm white and the father's black.) They said, “We don't have too many couples right now that are looking for that.” Then they referred me to another agency that specialized in the adoption of black babies. I called that place and they told me, “Well, call us back when you're in your last trimester. We won't even speak to you now.” And I said, 'Oh well, that's great because right now is when I really need information on this and to know that I'm doing the right thing. I need somebody to talk to here.'”

“I went back on the internet and found Spence-Chapin. Everything I read on the Web site just spoke to me. I remember reading a part about how the agency helps all different kinds of people and one of the people listed was somebody like me. I thought that I was unique and different in that I am 32 years old; I have two children at home. I imagined that most people who do this are 15-year-old kids that get pregnant. You know, single, young, first child. But when the Web site said that Spence-Chapin deals with people like me, I said, 'Oh, my goodness, so I'm not alone.'”

“When I came in to Spence-Chapin and sat with my social worker, it was emotional. I expressed that I was concerned about the people in my life that would be affected. It was very reassuring when she told me there was no pressure. We spoke about different choices, and she told me about the adoption process. And in explaining the process, my social worker showed me a book of couples and letters. From the very beginning, I had seen the couple that is now my child's parents. They had jumped out at me so much and I knew from just reading their letter and seeing their picture and feeling their energy, I knew that they just felt so right for me. I could tell their beliefs were similar to mine as far as raising children. I could tell that they had really open views. I didn't care about size, color, height or anything. I never had a thought as to whether I wanted a sibling or not. None of that mattered. It was all about the feeling I got about who they were on the inside. And they're just such beautiful people. They're loving parents, beautiful strong people.”

“We've developed a friendship. It's really open. They've come to my home and visited, and I e-mail them back and forth. I do speak to them on the phone a little bit, but we do more e-mails and send lots of pictures that way. My kids, my mother and I went up to their house for his first birthday party. They gave me a baby's first year calendar where they had kept track of all of his firsts-- first steps, first haircut, all that good stuff. It was sweet. They also send the birth father pictures and e-mails as well. There can never be too many people to love your child. That's the beauty of open adoption.”